Sexual Distractions and Cricket

19 02 2010

Dear Dr. Lazlo,

Is it wrong that whenever someone mentions the cricket instead of batting averages and classic catches the first thing that pops into mind is Michael Clarke’s fiance, Lara Bingle. Attached is a picture of Lara Bingle for your reference.

Many Thanks


Hello Tom.

How’s the filthy mouth going? Have you been fired recently? I sure hope not. A man of your social status certainly would suffer if his income is removed. Fingers crossed, eh?

Onto your question. I certainly don’t think it is wrong for you to be this obsessed about Lara Bingle. As long as you aren’t making little miniature pagan dolls made out of body hair representing Ms. Bingle which you masturbate over and then eat in a darkened room while listening to Air Supply. That’d be a tad wrong. Lara Bingle seems like a nice girl but certainly isn’t someone I’d get all hot and bothered over. There’s something weird about her stunned lemur face that I just don’t like. Her eyes seem to be on either side of her head which, although would give her excellent hunting and evading skills in the jungle canopy, seem rather unsightly. Give me Sandra Sully any day…

I have a similar issue to yours when watching the cricket. Whenever Shane Warne speaks I have a mental image of him dancing in Playboy jocks with two English bints in a hotel room while smoking a cigar and drinking French champagne. Again this isn’t an issue and I am not obsessed. I just whip it out, release the tension and then get back to watching the cricket. Perhaps you should do the same, but remember our last chat. Time and a Place. Row GG seat 32 at the SCG isn’t the place nor is just before Tea the time.

I hope this helps.

Kindest Regards

Dr. Lazlo Panaflex




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