Is My Dad Broken? – A Common Problem

19 02 2010

Doctor Lazlo?

I need some help.

The other night the Victoria’s Secret Special was on and I started to watch it. My Dad came out and changed the channel and said ‘I’m not watching this shit’ and put on some gay car show.
I worried for his sexuality. Is it because he’s married, or is he gay.

If he is gay, is there somewhere I can stay until he wants to taste poon again?

Please Help Me!!!!

Your kindest Regards,
Gumby

Hello Gumby.

Let’s get straight into it, shall we? What you need to realise is that as you grow older, your tastes tend to vary. For example, when I was a young lad I really didn’t like red wines from Western Australia. I found them to be too full on with massive oak and little fruit. Too chewy and green is an apt description. But as I grew older I learnt to appreciate WA wines and now my cellar has some great bottles from the Margaret River region in it. This is much the case with your father. His tastes have changed and he appreciates different things in life to you. Such as scantily clad women.

What I firmly believe has happened is that your father’s change in taste can most likely be attributed to an addiction to hard porn and as such he gets little more than a twinge in his vas deferens when confronted by the Victoria’s Secret show. If you had whacked on the latest German/Bulgarian fetish porn clip of a woman being sodomised violently by a man wearing a goat mask while 3 women urinate on each other in the corner of a room and I dare say the ‘gay car show’ would not have gotten a viewing. I know what I’d prefer. Watching models saunter around wearing lingerie certainly cannot compete with throat choking vomit porn. Take it from me…

Of course, your father may also be a closet bisexual who gets his kicks from furtive blow jobs from other men in public toilets but that is another conundrum altogether. If he ducks out late at night or early in the morning alone to do errands, we may have to confront him. Develop an intervention strategy.

I hope this helps.

Many thanks

Dr. Lazlo Panaflex

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